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 I dont think they ever actually penetrated me, but I know that I got used in every other way possible. I didn't really know what was happening, but I was a very shy kid and I thought that this was making them like me, so it must be a good thing. I blocked it out for probably 20+ years and I've never told anyone. I'm 50 now and I dont think there's any point. I've barely spoken to my brother for 20 years. One time I brought it up to him and I got the "you loved it" speech. One of my parents is dead and both of his friends are dead. I know all the ways it fucked me up as a person and I want my brother to fucking burn for it, but the idea of exposing all that to the world is terrifying.

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